Dear Tiasia,
I don’t know whether or not it is a good thing to hold back and be shy with my boyfriend, or should I let go. It is so easy for them to be comfortable and loose around females. Should I be more reserved, or just bare it all. For example I have a very big laugh, and if I find something funny and we are on the telephone, I go all the way, but in person I hold back so much. I even find it hard to walk in front of him. We’ve been dating for exactly five months next week Tuesday, and I feel like I should be at the point where I am comfortable but I don’t think I am.
Yours truly,
Saraii
Dear Saraii,
Well this is a tricky one because it has mostly to do with you as a person, and just a little to do with your relationship with him. Have you always been shy? Growing up, were you ever insecure to the point of depression for any period of time? Are you comfortable with talking to a close friend of yours about things that affect you the most? If most of the answers to this question is yes, then you not being able to be yourself and comfortable around him is something you should evaluate from a personal stance. Maybe there are things in your life that have happened that have made you be a more reserved person than others. If you do not relate your life to these questions, then it could be just that you aren’t at that point yet. If the relationship is going good otherwise, then do not let this deteriorate what you all have built, but if you find months down the line that this is still a problem, then maybe you will never reach that point and it is best that you guys either split or try to work on the problem. It is essential to be comfortable around him. Try seeing each other more often then you do now. If you see him one time out the week, try making it two, this will double the time you spend together, and allow for more growth between you two. Don’t worry what you are experiencing is normal, but just try your best to relax around him, if you do nothing else.
Yours truly,
Tiasia
